Ok cumsandwiches. I feel like it's time for my first post since the busiest man in America just posted his first before me and I have no job, no life, no friends, and therefore no dignity. So I'm just going to get right to it. AHEM. You cant be a Pirate and a Ninja at the same time. They are sworn enemies as well as pretty much polar opposites and anyone who thinks they can be both has about as much brains as this berry tie-die fruit roll up I am more than thoroughly enjoying right now (see picture...whattupppp).
Here are my reasons or actually I will start with obvious things about Ninjas and Pirates in no specific order. Pirates rape and pillage. Ninjas are small and agile, manuverable you could even say. Pirates love to get fucked up and sail. Ninjas like to hop on and off things, not good for the sea. Pirates are seaworthy and love rum. Ninjas have underground tournaments where they fight in front of people and kill other fighters for pride and honor. Pirates are money grubbers who are only in it for the paycheck not for the love of anything. Chicks look way hotter in Pirate halloween costumes. Unemployed college graduates wear 14yr old boys Ninja suits to partys from the college they already graduated from (creepy).
Anyway back on topic. Its a pretty fucking simple idea to grasp if you just use your brain to think about it. Its kind of making me mad thinking that people actually believe that a Ninja could survive on the HIGH seas. A Ninja would have no where to run, practice his moves, and if he tried to break boards with his fists or elbows he'd probably break something detrimental to the flotation of the ship. It would be like giving Turners cat an assload of catnip, zipping it into a tent by itself, and watching it bounce around inside from the outside ( not that ive done that or anything). Also vice versa putting a Pirate in an underground deathmatch tournament is the most retarded thing ive ever heard. Most likely this Pirate would have a bum leg and subpar agility from drinking all day and having no excersize. Like JCVD would fucking one move his ass to the ground and palm-slap his burly nose bone into his brain killing him instantly and we all know JCVD shows mercy and spares everyone in his movies, even the dude that throws sand in his face. Although I think a Pirate could make Segal shit his pants and cry in the corner on land, air, or sea. Thats just because Segal is a chode popsicle and you can tell him i said that. Is he dead yet? I dont know he is pretty fucking old. Anyway I am a Ninja and I can do that move in Tekken where Law runs up your leg like gravity defying diareahha and boots you in the face with his ballerina shoes. So dont be a pussy and choose a fucking side!!
-Shaken Not Stirred
p.s. leave a comment telling which side you are and why.
2 comments:
I'm a ninja... I will post to prove this.
I honestly can say I am neither a ninja or a pirate. I can only say I like to drink and take boat rides, so therefore I lean towards the pirates. I do agree that ninjas could fuck pirates up in almost any situation, especially with pirates all drunk off rum and shit...relate them if u wish to most of the fishermen of new bedford, with a caribbean edge. yo ho ho...ninjas have way more agility and training. the only question remains...how will ninjas get onto the ships?... with the help of pirates...or maybe pirate ninjas, kinda like muslim americans...didn't think about that, didya...hybrid pirate ninjas of japans high seas. strictly for my ninjas
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