Bathrooms should never be more than room temperature

I love college basketball, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I can't say this has always been the case. I didn't even really like sports until about 10th grade. I thought I wanted to be an actor when I was younger and mostly liked watching cartoons and playing Super Smash Brothers on N64 more than any UNC/Duke matchup or Red Sox /Yankees game. Then, thanks to my Grandpa John, I was introduced into the wide world of sport. At first, I only liked the NFL. I was a huge Thurman "The Thurmanator" Thomas fan, and watched the Bills, and later the Dolphins, just to catch a glimpse of him streaking down the sidelines. Somehow, I starting liking college basketball, the NBA, and baseball a lot as well, but nothing could ever take NFL Football's place in my heart. It's like your first real girlfriend.


But, like Bob Dylan, or Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan in "I'm not there", said, the times they are a'changin. College basketball is my new girlfriend. That, of course, is only if you are following the poorly shaped metaphor I started about football being my first love. But seriously, I don't know what it is about the NFL playoffs this year. I'm just not that into them. My best guess is a couple of reasons; my team (the Redskins) isn't in it, Donovan "I didn't know we could tie" McNabb is leading the hottest playoff team right now, I hate the Eagles, the AFC matchup is pretty boring, and the Cardinal's seem to decide if they will play defense based on a flip of a coin. The only thing I am actively rooting for, and the only thing that keeps me watching, is any time someone passes the ball against Ed Reed and the hope that Larry Fitzgerald will catch 38 touchdowns in the NFC Championship.

I feel like I have been dating the NFL all through High School and half way through freshman year in college and I am only holding on to what we have because I respect everything our relationship has brought me in the past year, even though it has become mundane of late. Meanwhile, I am now at college seeing all these guys who are uglier and stupider than me pulling plenty of hot broads, so I am beginning to question whether or not I should be pulling hot broads too. This of course, leads to me splitting up with the NFL because I mean, long distance doesn't work anyway. Now I am free to fool around with anyone I want. I have a good run with MLB baseball, and we still have something there, but it's not serious enough for me to commit long term. Our time together is our time together, ya know? In the time I am sort of hanging out with MLB, I go home for the summer and see NFL again. She is still looking good, and still wants me to be a part of her life, so of course that summer brings with it numerous hook ups, and a fair share of "What are we doing? What are we?" conversations, eventually leading me to heartache. However, I am not ready to accept that is over, but it is certainly over for now.

So, I go back to school and meet College Basketball. Actually, I meet Division 1 CBB, and her less attractive, but far more fun to hang out with cousin, Division 3 CBB. These two become a big part of my life, which is cool, because I get pretty involved with DIII CBB, and DI CBB realizes that she can never tell her cousin what happened that one night we drank margaritas from the 5 gallon Gatorade container. Now, we have a great two and half years together, but I have to do something with my life before I graduate to feel like college was worth 160 grand. So, I tell DIII CBB she will always have a place in my heart, and leave for LA to finish school, making sure to save DI CBB's number in my phone for drunk dials.

Then, it's off to LA, where I meet a foxy lady whose name is NBA basketball. It's weird too, because I see DI CBB at the Pac-10 semi finals, and she is looking LOVEly, and I think that I MAY Over time, get back with her, but then she leaves me, and I start to get serious with this NBA chick. She rocks my world. Unbelievable in the sack, smoking hot, she's the type of girl you want to walk into a club with, but I start to think a long term thing is not in our future. So, I go back to the east coast for graduation and we have the "Can we make this work?" talk. I’m not sure, but I want to keep things going just to see, and we decide to stay together. The playoff's end, and so does my short lived relationship with the NBA, because I feel like we have unmatched expectations. She wants me to travel stay super involved, and I am just not ready to commit that hard, even though I still have feelings for her. I obviously still think about the NBA, with LeBron just killing it and everything, but we’re in different times in our lives right now. I feel like if we lived in the same area, we could make it work, but Rochester, NY just isn't cutting it for me and the NBA. So, now I'm all alone with a lot of interest in getting back with the NFL, but she is apparently done with being a special part of my life. She values my friendship, but just doesn't have romantic feelings for me. So, I move on...and it's hard, but I do. And somehow, out of the blue, Kentucky Blue to be exact, I come right back to DI CBB. It was Jodie Meeks who brought me back, dropping 54 on Tennessee and Bruce Pearl. I mean, UCONN is my team, so I don't really get into any ACC, SEC, Big 12, Big 10, Pac 10 matchups, but I couldn't stop watching. Jodie Meeks showed me love in it's purest form, the love of the game. I'm sorry for getting all sentimental on you about this, but DI CBB is back, and I am excited for it. She is a whole different girl this time, completely different than I remember her. That's to be expected though, I mean, the last time I was involved with DI CBB Kevin Durant hadn't even started his freshman season. It's a whole new monster this time, and I like it. Who knows where this will go, but I am finally interested in a sport again.