How to mow the entire state of Massachusetts

Another one for you guys. I have some free time right now, so I figured I'd treat you with a poo journal.

Here's some thoughts I had at work while waiting for my computer to become unfrozen:
Playing with the Patriots in Madden 09 is cheating. They are just too good. Randy Moss can catch the patented "Chuck it up deep" balls, Wes Welker catches anything within 15 yards of him, and the defense only needs to be within the passing lane to make ridiculous picks.I think they have 72 shotgun formations or something like that. No other team n Madden history has had that kind of offensive diversity. Not to mention the people at EA gave Tom Brady an absurdly high QB ranking, and also gave the other guys on the offense rankings that are too high. It reminds of being Kirby in Super Smash Brothers for N64. You could only be Kirby if you were a girl, or had never played. Kirby could just do too much to not die. It's like Danny Almonte in the LLWS. Yesterday I had 5 Tom Brady INT's in a madden game and I was still beaten by the Patriots. To contrast, the game before I had 7 picks of Jake Delhomme (I was the Browns) and won that game 42-14. It was closer than the score makes it look.The victim of that viscous beat down was none other than my faithful video game friend, Dan Gocek. He said at some point in the 4th quarter, "I am still trying out new shotgun formations!" I mean, really? Seriously? Come on John Madden…..

Go see Slumdog Millionaire. It is easily the best movie I have seen since I watched Forrest Gump the other night. It really is very good though. Danny Boyle, the director of "Trainspotting" also directed this one. The story is unpredictable, and pretty raw. It's shot extremely well and shows a side of India I am 99% sure 99% of America doesn't know about. There isn't anyone in it of note, but that doesn't stop the acting performances from being extraordinary. I'm not sure what this means, but I feel like "gutsy" is the right thing to say about Dev Patel's performance as Jamal Malik, a young boy born from the slums. Also, his co-star Freida Pinto is instantly catapulted onto the top of my hottest actresses list. Basically, if you've ever spent 7-12 dollars going to see anything with Jim Carrey or Clive Owens in it, you will feel better about spending your money on this.

MOWING MASSACHUSETTS

(All facts and figures were researched doggedly via the Internet. Check them if you want.) Here it goes Willy Dawk:

So, the area of Massachusetts is 10, 555 square miles. 13% of that 10,555 is covered by water. So, that means that 9182.85 square miles of Massachusetts are covered by something other than water. If water covers 13%, it is not an unreasonable guess to say that roads and buildings cover 5% of the state. That would bring the total square mileage of Massachusetts that is covered by vegetation to 8,655.1 square miles. A square mile of land holds 640 acres. That would mean there are 5,539,264 acres of mow-able ground in Massachusetts. My lawn is one half of an acre. It takes 1 hour to mow my lawn. That means it would take 2 hours to mow an acre of land. (Point of reference: I have a push mower, in the situation, you would be provided with a ride on mower, drastically reducing the time needed to mow one acre of land. However, for this query, we will assume the push mower if all we have.) So, that means it would take 11,078,528 hours to mow the part of Massachusetts that is covered by vegetation. (It is important to note that you would not have to mow the area covered by forest growth and high grass, only the lawns.) Anyway, we can divide the total amount of hours by 24 and figure out that it would take 461,605.333 days to mow that area. We divide that number by 365 to find that it would take 1,264.67214611872 years to mow the area of Massachusetts covered by vegetation.
This rough estimation proves that it would not be possible to mow the entire state of Massachusetts in one lifetime. The total mow-able area would have to be less than half of the states total area, which I believe is unreasonable. There are just not enough beaches, landfills, forests, roads, and buildings to make me believe the total mow-able area of Massachusetts is under half. However, Rhode Island is not out of the question. The Ocean State is only 1,214 square miles. That alone means that there could only possibly be 776,960 acres of mow-able land in R.I. That would take, assuming the entire state is a lawn, 177.38812785 years to mow. Now, it is obvious that Rhode Island is not a giant lawn. I believe that the amount of beach coverage, road coverage, and urban coverage in Rhode Island would make it possible for one person to mow the entire state in one lifetime.



The only question now is: Is it too late for YOU to be that guy?