January 2nd is not that much different than December 28th

This is a t-shirt I got for christmas from my friend Dan Gocek. He was hurt, and a little disappointed that I didn't take the time to fully appreciate the t-shirt as I opened his gift. And by opend his gift, I mean took that t-shirt off of the Band of Brothers DVD set. Obviously I was a little more impressed and infatuated with the 10 hours of pure enjoyment that was lying ahead of me and forgot to properly thank him for the witty t-shirt that accompanied it. He rage wasn't at all quelled by me telling him that I wore the shirt to bed the day I got back from Houston, in fact he took that as a personal affront. I can only hope to slake his anger by posting that picture at the beginning of my post. "Stupid Raisins, stay out of my cookies". So simple, and yet so eloquent....it's even better because I REALLY dislike raisins in my cookies. It's like Dan reached inside my head and found the most thoughtful witty t-shirt he could find. Well I want to say in front of the world, but actually more like the 7 people who read this, thank you Dan. I liked the present.

Last year I was driving home from work (and by last year, I mean last week. It's the only time of the year I can say that, so I try to take advantage of it) and my life instantly became 30% more awesome. You're probably saying to yourself, "HOW!!?? I TOO WANT TO BE AWESOME!!" If that is truly the case, I suggest you find out who Kings of Leon is and start listening to them pronto. I was once just another recent college graduate with no future, no plans, no money, and no way of being laid that was legal. Then, I found this band, and the new CD "Only By The Night", and I am now in the top 3 coolest kids in my area code. Why, just later tonight I am getting free tickets to go see a pretty awesome Division III basketball team play. The tickets will most likely be courtside too, because they are general admission, and I like to sit courtside. Honestly though, I traveled something like 16,000 miles with my family this christmas break, 97% of it was in a Honda minivan. Normally, people would be cool with that. However, 3 of the people in that minivan are 6 foot 2, on is 6 foot 8, and the other is my mom, who never has to sit in the way-back because she went through pregnancy three times and has the "I never have to sit in the way-back of a minivan ever again, because I went through pregnancy" card in her wallet. Needless to say, it was smelly, cramped, and a verbal fight about driving tactics broke out every time we passed another town in Kansas that sucked and made me depressed (which was every town in Kansas). That being said, one thing that helped me get through this grueling family road trip, which was nothing like this family road trip, was listening to "Only By The Night" like 13 times all the way through.

2009 is supposed to be awesome, but I can't see it happening for everyone. In particular, I don't really see starving children in 3rd world countries getting a big break this year. OJ will most likely have a pretty shitty year. And I, and probably every other recent college grad, will also feel a sharp drop off. I had been noticing the terrible effects of not being in college as early as July, but I chalked that up to my high ankle sprain, which pretty much put an end to any fun I was planning on having last summer. It wasn't long ago I was looking at my friends and laughing as they signed up for MBA's, law school, and other forms of higher education. At this point though, I have realized I am the fool. Who can put a price of 3 to 4 more years of reckless, carefree poor decisions followed by eating pizza and playing video games? Law school, that's who. The price is usually around 150,000 smackers. Anyway, I have been thinking about some reasons that NOT being in college sucks, and here they are.

Reason #1 - High School Girls are no longer hot

I know what you're thinking, and you're right. They are still hot. However, there is a time a place in most people's lives, these people not included, when you take a long look inside yourself and realize that you would NOT enjoy having sexual relations with the hottest girl in the High School. This doesn't happen overnight, and it might even be true for those in grad school. However, it is painfully obvious for those of us not involved in any school at all how creepy it makes you feel to think about having relations with a 17 year old. II'm not sure when it happened, but I know for sure that after my sophomore year I was still totally cool with trying to fool around with High School chicks. I guess that is a sign of maturity, or just the good sense to try and stay off this list.

Reason #2 - Vomiting is no longer a funny thing to do after drinking a lot

This is pretty self explanatory, but I think it is a valid point. Here's an example. when Teddy turned 21 in October of 2007, we did what any sensible college student would do. We called our friends, bought a keg and a couple of handles, and drank until we ended up throwing up our of the back stairway window. It's totally cool. One year removed from that, vomiting out of a 4 story window is a vile and ridiculous act, no longer carrying the amount of hilarity as it once did. Think of it like the hot chick from high school who got fat and maybe had a kid or two while you were in college. She's still there, it could still happen, it's just not the same.

Reason #3 - Parents getting facebook

It happened to me. While I have no problem with my mom seeing my facebook page and or videos/pictures, most people do. 2009 brings our parents one step closer to joining us on the final frontier, the internet, not space, you dummy. I am actually enjoying my mom being on her. It allows me one more way to shame her into giving me more money. If I could figure out a way to steal the expensive things in my life, like heat, food, and Nikes, then I wouldn't need to have my mom on facebook. Invariably though, this will lead to facebook getting less and less cool and a new social networking site coming up. I don't think I can take the switch. I had a hard enough time deciding on whether to get myspace or facebook and the thought of a potential 3rd party coming in the mix is a harrowing thought for me.

I'll be posting more soon, so don't you worry. But if you have some free time, and trust me, you do have free time if you are reading this sentence, check out www.ClubTrillion.blogspot.com. I can't really articulate how much I like this blog. Also, for anyone who wants to be mean for no particular reason, send an email to Connorjoyceiseffinghuge@gmail.com, detailing the was in which you hate Connor Joyce (as seen below) for being so friggin big.



It's funny because he looks like he could have been their father, but in reality, they
are his grandparents!